 |
A
Real Summertime Crowdpleaser!
The
Executive Lie-ts
sunglasses are attractive
and inconspicious,
giving you maximum
comfort when you
need it the most:
while strolling the
streets of Baghdad!
The Executive Lie-ts
provide a lasting
impression to those
who wear them
because they convert the impossibly
dismal to an afternoon
at a festival in the park!
Buy a second pair
of Executive Lie-ts
and fib about
past cocaine use
or steal an election
in Ohio! |
 |
|
 |
Even
Italian Embryos Want
'Em!
You'll
have the panache
of an SS officer
with these babies!
Stylish
and flashy,
the Royal Ratzinger
sunglasses
scream, "It's
OK to be an ultraconservative
Pope so long as you
don't practice it!"
The Royal
Ratzingers
come with a prayer
you can recite
to make you feel less
guilty for your rotten
deeds and bigotry
than the recent Bishops
of Rome!
Go ahead...treat
yourself to
a goose-stepping
summer! |
 |
|
|
 |
Comfort
and Safety When You
Need It!
Don't let those nasty
state Supreme Courts
get you down
with rulings
about equality,
or equal access,
or even equal
protection under the
law!
With the Mitt
Romney Signature Marriage
Shield Supremes,
disturbing same-sex
nuptial images
fade gracefully into
the sort of comforting,
New England style wedding
pictures you
and dear old
dad, if you,
in fact, know
who he is, are
used to!
Perfect for
any political
flunkie who'd
use cheap, divisive
tactics to
advance
his presidential
aspirations! |
 |
|
|
 |
Shades
For When You're In Denial!
Now
you, too, can
turn your back
to man's environmental
impact on the
atmosphere!
Using the Bush
Administration principle
of "waiting for
more scientific evidence,"
the Blinder
Extremes make
living on a
damaged planet
much more comfortable!
But then again, who
needs to see
what the results
of eight years
of an energy
industry stooge's
impact
will be? With
the Blinder
Extremes, you don't
have to! |
 |
|
|
|
 |
Be
a 21st Century Neely
O'Hara!
Keep
up with that ubiquitous
drug advertising
by donning
the unique Valley
of the Dolls Specials
this summer season!
You'll see
what life will
become when
it's subjected
to all of these
expensive, and
increasingly popular,
narcotics!
Oh, but don't
worry! The
FDA has
it all well
in hand while
it fast-tracks
Vioxx but nixes
medical marijuana!
So why not
wear what
the chic
are taking?
The
Valley of the Dolls
Specials! And
remember: call your
doctor for
a date
if your erection
lasts four
or more hours! |
 |
|
|
| Ordering
Instructions: Our sunglass
models are never in stock and will
not ship though we will collect your
money. Some models require magical
properties on the part of the wearer.
You may not want to wear some of these
sunglasses in public. Pricing is subject
to change without notice, especially
if we lower the price, but never if
we increase it. We usually increase
the price between the time of your
order and delivery, resulting in a
bill that is automatically generated
and can never be made to go away.
Shipping is always extra and is subject
to change without notice, just like
we said in the previous sentence.
Many of our sunglass companies are
no longer in business or have corporate
executives who have been subpoenaed
by the Department of Justice and have
therefore left the country. Substitutions
are not allowed. Thank you for your
business. ©2005 by dirtcentral.com,
as if anybody would want to steal
it. |
|
|
