Attention class! I'm your school marm, the lovely Secretary of Education, Margaret Spellings, or, as is appropriate for someone in my position, Miss Spellings. I will rap your hands with a ruler if you don't quiet down, stop laughing and learn from my very important primer on those evil, evil cartoon characters - yes, I said cartoon characters - that will lead children down that evil, evil road to - well, what do you think? The sort of thing that just seems to bother our kind to no end! You know. Oh, come on now, class, you know! Now stop laughing and think about it! No, no, no, don't think about it! Just form a mental picture of Rosie O'Donnell and Liberace. No, no, not together, you idiots! Now stop laughing and let's get down to business!

I'm going to draw a cartoon character on the chalkboard.  And ... ... ... there! Now class,  can you tell me who this cartoon character is? No, you fools, it's not Liberace, and, no, it's not Rosie O'Donnell! It's Buster, the bunny from PBS' Postcards from Buster. And your school marm's primer is going to teach you about naughty Buster, along with other cartoon characters who are out to soil and sully your sweet, innocent little souls with concepts that make my President, nearer to God as he is, and me blush all over! Yes, even down there!

So now, Billy, put away that revolver, and Sandy, bring that vibrator up to my desk - and Phil, you'll have plenty of time to create another teenage pregnancy later - but right now, it's time to protect your innocence from the wicked way that is cartoon animation as we embark upon...