A Foreword by
Dr. James Dobson
Hello my fellow readers of dirtcentral.
This is a singularly important primer by our recently appointed and
confirmed Secretary of Education who has endeared herself to me by
recognizing, as I have, the insidious dangers that various multicolored
animated rabbits, sponges, martians, dogs, mice and, yes, even seasick
sea serpents, present to society as a whole. Miss Spellings has spelled
out, as it were, exactly the sorts of concerns that I, being the head
of an extreme right-wing organization and purveyor of religious
intolerance, would have. I learned a great deal in the writing of my
book, Bringing up Boys, which, by the way, lead to another book that I find absolutely appalling called Getting Boys Off,
that, strangely enough, outsold my book by 2 to 1. I was simply shocked
when I read it. I mean, some of the methods were, well, to put it
mildly, outrageous. Why, I was reticent to even continue to try method
#20 after I had finished method #19. Shocking, simply shocking.
But I digress. Miss Spellings has finally provided Americans with an opportunity to correctly identify those cartoons that are preying on our youth, bending their minds and sending them down the road of shame, the avenue of unrighteousness, the boulevard of sin, the lane of self-violation, the parkway of secular humanism (use caution as there is construction on the parkway of secular humanism between the avenue of unrighteousness and the bouldevard of sin; alternate routes are suggested), and, riding in a pink Cadillac, the freeway of love.
We must remain ever vigilant in these days of the scourge of drawn characters preying on the innocence of our youth who are otherwise busy tagging, smoking or making more youth. These are difficult times, and difficult times call for approaches such as those advanced by people like Miss Spellings, President Bush and me: paint everyone as a liberal, suggest harmless imagery can corrupt children and increasingly attempt to marginalize an entire class of people we have always, for whatever reason, be it ignorance, stupidity or insanity, and using thinly disguised hatred, openly detested.
So, with the enthusiasm of a brownshirt marching through the streets of the Jewish ghettos in Germany on Kristallnacht, I exhort you place the Margaret Spellings Primer on Reprobate Cartoon Characters right up there on the shelf next to your beloved copies of the Bible and Mein Kampf. After all, it's people like me who are bound and determined to erase the differences between the two.
And now, on to the primer!
Dr. James Dobson
Hello my fellow readers of dirtcentral.
This is a singularly important primer by our recently appointed and
confirmed Secretary of Education who has endeared herself to me by
recognizing, as I have, the insidious dangers that various multicolored
animated rabbits, sponges, martians, dogs, mice and, yes, even seasick
sea serpents, present to society as a whole. Miss Spellings has spelled
out, as it were, exactly the sorts of concerns that I, being the head
of an extreme right-wing organization and purveyor of religious
intolerance, would have. I learned a great deal in the writing of my
book, Bringing up Boys, which, by the way, lead to another book that I find absolutely appalling called Getting Boys Off,
that, strangely enough, outsold my book by 2 to 1. I was simply shocked
when I read it. I mean, some of the methods were, well, to put it
mildly, outrageous. Why, I was reticent to even continue to try method
#20 after I had finished method #19. Shocking, simply shocking.But I digress. Miss Spellings has finally provided Americans with an opportunity to correctly identify those cartoons that are preying on our youth, bending their minds and sending them down the road of shame, the avenue of unrighteousness, the boulevard of sin, the lane of self-violation, the parkway of secular humanism (use caution as there is construction on the parkway of secular humanism between the avenue of unrighteousness and the bouldevard of sin; alternate routes are suggested), and, riding in a pink Cadillac, the freeway of love.
We must remain ever vigilant in these days of the scourge of drawn characters preying on the innocence of our youth who are otherwise busy tagging, smoking or making more youth. These are difficult times, and difficult times call for approaches such as those advanced by people like Miss Spellings, President Bush and me: paint everyone as a liberal, suggest harmless imagery can corrupt children and increasingly attempt to marginalize an entire class of people we have always, for whatever reason, be it ignorance, stupidity or insanity, and using thinly disguised hatred, openly detested.
So, with the enthusiasm of a brownshirt marching through the streets of the Jewish ghettos in Germany on Kristallnacht, I exhort you place the Margaret Spellings Primer on Reprobate Cartoon Characters right up there on the shelf next to your beloved copies of the Bible and Mein Kampf. After all, it's people like me who are bound and determined to erase the differences between the two.
And now, on to the primer!